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Negative thoughts have created deep neurological pathways in the brain. I understand that when you have been dealing with a problem for years it becomes harder and harder to muster up a positive attitude and the emotional energy to focus on solutions. And your attitude will greatly influence your behavior. You can, however, control your attitude toward your environment. The reality is that you may not be able to control your environment you may have to deal with sickness, an alcoholic spouse, a teenager on drugs, a mother who abandoned you, a father who abused you, a spouse who is irresponsible, and on and on. At that point, we become a part of the problem rather than part of the solution. If we have a pessimistic, defeatist, negative attitude, we will express it in negative words and behavior. If you focus on that light, it will eventually flood the room. In the darkest night of a miserable marriage, there is always a flickering light. But if you focus on one positive thing in a situation, another will appear. If you focus on how terrible the situation is, it will get worse. Attitude has to do with the way we choose to think about things.
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Trouble is inevitable, but misery is optional. Reality living approaches life with the assumption that we are responsible for our own state of mind. Let me share six realities-focusing on how we think about ourselves and our marriage-that can start to pull us out of that “no way out” sense of hopelessness. At one level, that’s true: we are not the alcoholic, we are not the abuser, and we are not the irresponsible one. It’s hard to be positive when we feel as if we are the victim and that our spouse is the one with the problem. Yes, it’s hard to be positive when you’ve struggled in a hard marriage for years. (incl.When we are deeply unhappy, we can become stuck in our own misery, feeling there is no way out-especially if the situation we’re in never seems to change.
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Happy negative marriage raw movie#